Some solemn thoughts on literature

I'm in a very thoughtful mood right now, so this will probably be the most boring post I've ever written. I'm a very harsh critic of books, but you can hardly blame me. My mother has drilled into me a hate for "twaddle", that is to say, trash. Stupid, pointless, decadent books. (I really hope decadent is an adjective) So here are my standards that a book has to meet for me to read it over and over again.

1. Good moral standards. No swearing, no glamorizing breaking the Word of Wisdom, or making it look cool to get tattoos or piercings. All characters must keep the law of chastity.

2. A good moral. Not in the sense that I used above, but a point, a message. Something that makes people want to be better.

3. It has to be well written. I want it so well written that I don't have to try to imagine how it looks.

4. I suppose that 4 could be combined with 3 but it's a important one to me so I gave it it's own category. Wide and meaningful vocabulary is of extreme consequence, weight, significance, majority and prominence on this list.

5. A good plot. It has to have suspense and intrigue. It has to be so good that I don't put it down until it's finished or my mother threatens to take away my cell phone if I don't Put it Down This Minute and Do Something Useful.

Sadly, most modern books don't fit any of these standards. Or they sneak in violations of 1 under the disguise of 4 and 5. It's really quite depressing. But the old classics are wonderful and I find myself poring over them and going back to read my favorite parts. Someday I'll post a list of my Classic Books for you to enjoy. I would post it right now, but if you haven't already fallen asleep, then reading the list would definitely send you into dreamland. So I'll save it for another day.