Dear Zit On My Forehead,
I’ve been pondering how to break it to you, and I finally decided that I just needed to tell you how it is. We need to end our relationship. There I’ve said it. I’m sorry, I know I’ve lead you on, hoping to be able to squeeze something out of you. I sincerely hope you don’t suffer any scarring. Why haven’t you taken the hints I dropped and just left on your own? I’m sorry but I just don’t see how I could be more obvious. When you came, I was indifferent at first, hoping as I said to be able to get something out of you. But you kept hanging around, and after few days I decided that you needed to leave. So I tried to ease you out with a little well placed concealer. You didn’t seem to notice. So then I tried poking and prodding and a little squeezing, trying to push you out forcefully. You still hung around. Then you brought your buddies to party on my nose, and I’m telling you right now, this is the last straw! You have one hour to be out of my life forever, or I’m bringing out the benzoyl peroxide! I’m serious; this has gone too far. Yes, I know I ate chocolate and fries, which you interpreted as asking you to stick around. I’m sorry for that, my motive was selfish pleasure. Please forgive me and just leave. Please.
Sincerely, Kate
6 comments:
Nice one. I thought zits would stop once I graduated college. I still get the occasional visit.
My zit guests are so stubborn that they don't even leave when I bring out the benzoyl peroxide. They leave when they're darn good and ready.
I maybe have a ray of hope for you... I didn't have zits when I was a teenager. No, I get to have that fun problem NOW in my 30s... so maybe you are getting them over with now!!!
You are hilarious. But zits are not hilarious. Good riddance, zit!
ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love your humor! I'm going to share this with my 15 year old son.
Dear Kate,
Should your break-up not go as well as you had hoped, and should your zit turn to stalking you, may I recommend the only thing that ever actually worked on my face:
ProActiv.
No, I'm not getting paid, but I'm also no longer getting stalked!
love,
Aunt Leslie (with the now-lovely skin!)
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