I'm sitting on my bedroom floor at the moment. For the past two hours I've been throwing stuff away, cramming stuff into boxes, and stuffing DI bags. How the heck did I get all this Stuff? Some of it is sentimental, like the two shoeboxes full of letters and birthday cards from friends and family. But most of it is just stuff. Stuff from ages ago. Why did I keep it? Why do I keep my drawers full of clothes I don't wear? I don't know. But I disturbed The Stuff's comfortable place in my bedroom, and I faced myself with the bold questions, "Do I still need this? Will I want it in 5 years?". Not surprisingly, usually the answer was No. Which is why I'm sitting in the midst of a family of cardboard boxes and garbage sacks.
Most of the Stuff was childhood relics: pictures, sloppy ceramic creations, handmade jewelry. I've never wanted to grow up. Like in a ridiculous Peter Pan way. That's probably why I keep so much Stuff. Somewhere in the back of my brain, a little thought insists that keeping my childhood stuff will keep me from growing up. It insists that the flat ceramic fish painted with poster paints is a magic charm that will keep me 11 years old forever. I've kept the Stuff for so long because I thought that throwing it away would be like punching my younger self in the face. But tonight I changed a little.
I found a piece of gum on a shelf. It was still in the wrapper, so I stuck it in my mouth. It's pretty old. And stale. I chewed it for a while, just because. But it was really gross. So I spit it out. Excuse the bad metaphor, but my Stuff is gum. Years ago, when I put it on the shelf, it was great and had some value. But now it's pretty dang stale. Time to spit it out and eat what's being served at the moment. I've kept some select pieces that will last, but I threw out a lot of Stuff. I'm waving goodbye to my childhood and stepping into the moment. And it feels great.
4 comments:
What a great blog. We all do this samething. I have stuff that I haven't used or worn for years but can't seem to get rid of it. Our move helped I did through a lot away and hauled pickup loads to DI. There is still more that we should get rid of.
Isn't that a great feeling?? I'm not sure why it's so hard to part with stuff, but it does make it so cathartic when we do.
Kate, I love you. I do, really. It seems as though everything you post is what I do on almost an everyday basis.
I've gotten to the stage (for the past year or so) where I know stuff like what you mentioned will just collect dust in my room, so I don't even keep it. I made an ingenious box in my ceramics class and after hours of blood, sweat, and tears I endured while making it, I came home and threw it away, the day I had finished it.
And commenting on your most recent post... yeah. Spring Break pretty much sucked for me. I did nothing. Actually, that's not true. I went to Antelope Island where I proceeded to see one antelope and four buffalo. That's it. It was one for the record books, for sure.
Great thoughts Kate. I'm very similar in a lot of ways. When I go through old stuff, I usually end up sitting around reminiscing for hours. It does feel good to get rid of old stuff in the end though. You are great.
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