Betcha didn't know I can change the weather

Me: I guess you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you here today. Well, as you know there has been quite a bit of contention going on lately and I think it’s about time someone did something about it.”

Winter: “Ok. Let me get this straight. You, an insignificant little female human, are trying to get me, the biggest, toughest season to compromise with dainty little Spring?? This is almost funny.”

Spring: (Whispering) “I think it’s a good idea.”

Winter: (Mocking) “Well of course you do. Why wouldn’t you like someone to fight your battles for you?”

Me: “That is quite enough! Now calm down. Do us a favor Winter and just grow up.”

Winter: “Oh who’s so high and mighty now? Have you forgotten who I am?”

Spring: (still whispering but a little louder this time) “Oh, put a sock in it Winter, we’ve had enough.”

Me: “Alright! Zip it both of you while I review the facts! Now. Let’s see, first week of April, cold, Winter obviously thought he had the right of way. Second week, cold, Winter still insisting on the right of way. Third week of April, Spring manages to sneak past Winter and hold her own for three days, before Winter obviously got fed up and retaliated with a snowstorm on Tuesday. That is absolutely unacceptable Winter! Shame on you! I am totally disgusted with your behavior!”

Winter: (dripping with sarcasm) “Please forgive me for forgetting that Spring is more important than I am.”

Spring: (no longer whispering) “Darn right I’m more important than you are! You act all big and tough but under it all, you’re nothing but a bunch of cold air! But look at me! I bring the flowers out of hiding, make the birds sing, and the sun shine! And what do you do? Just ice the sidewalks so you can laugh when people slip!”

Winter: “Why, you impudent little –“

Me: “Enough! Stop right there!”

Spring: “Neener, neener!”

Me: “You too, Spring!”

Spring: “Well, he said-“

Me: “I said enough! Now, we all need to calm down and work this out. Winter, you have had the months of October, November, December, January, February, March, and most of April, to do what you like with. We all thank you for a white Christmas, an excellent ski season, and breaking the drought. Well done with all of that! But now it is time to back out gracefully, showing true strength of character. Please pack your snowflakes, your cold winds, and gray skies, and have a nice vacation.”

Winter: “Fine! But don’t expect me to be happy about it!”

Me: “I didn’t say you had to be. Just let Spring, Summer, and Fall have their turn and then you can come back and snow all you like.”

Winter: “Alright, I’ll leave pretty soon.”

Spring: “Hooray!”

Me: *sigh*“Now maybe I can get a tan.”